Want to play?
What do you want to do now?
That’s what we asked each other every time there was a pause in our last game.
There were 3-8 of us, depending on who showed up that day. We ranged from 6-9 years old, though our differences didn’t seem to matter, except for who was most up-to-date on the latest TV show. Somehow our mid-1960s world was one of the military (“Combat,” “Branded,”) or secret agents (“The Man from U.N.C.L.E.,” “Get Smart,” and “The Mod Squad”), all of which gave us plenty of action to dramatize.
My pals and I when we were particularly patriotric one fourth of July
We wandered, we ranged, we played. The mountain of dirt behind a new building going up occupied us for hours, as we dug and ducked, alternating between digging an army foxhole to shoot the enemy with our toy guns, and hollering as we climbed up and dashed down the hill, sometimes rolling from top to bottom.
Actual clubhouse
We dug some more in someone’s backyard, stationing our GI Joe’s (I had two) and Barbie’s (not mine, my friend Faith Brown’s). We found old lumber and built a clubhouse; we scrapped for more and created a treehouse.
I recognized that same timeless freedom a few weeks back, as my beloved Kath and I bungeed a tarp over the mud pit under our patio that had been newly undecked. (Our hot tub was leaking and awaiting repair before a predicted rainstorm.) I thought, wow, Kath would have fit right into our childhood gang of kids. This was a perfect fort to play in!
Earlier in the day, we were reminiscing about our dog Jaimie, who died when she was 17. “I guess she had a good life with us, so she didn’t want to leave,” Kath mused. I remembered Jaimie hanging in the dog wagon as we biked her around.
Then my chest tightened as another image passed across my mindscape. “I still remember her slinking out of the room as we yelled at each other.” Kath nodded sadly, as I continued. “I just didn’t know.” She squeezed my hand, and said, “Me neither.”
Want to know why I do what I do? Spend so much of my time and energy writing, videoing, talking and teaching and playing with people? Sure, I love what I’ve found that helps. I know it’s powerful, that these practices can create immediate shifts, support folks to move out of suffering. I’ve been in that pit of hell myself so many times, creating stuckness and struggle and pain through my bullheaded need to be right.
Probably an even bigger motivator than showing people a path out of suffering, though, is wanting to have more playmates. It’s that open, expanded feeling that infuses my whole body, the one I felt while racing on our bikes or tumbling down a hill, just because we were together and it was a beautiful day. Because there was absolutely nothing better than being in the flow of following whatever wanted to happen next.
TIPS FOR BEING A FABULOUS PLAYMATE:
Ask "What do you want to do now??"
Be open to the answer...and make it a "yes/and" (yes, let's go outside; and I'd love to be in the sun." Then you're cocreating
Play until you're hungry, or tired, or feel done. Go take care of yourself, and come back when you're ready!
So I pose these questions to you:
Want to play?
What do you want to do now??
Julie
Join me for these upcoming events:
The Wedge Live: Restorative Conversations Across Divides
Saturday, February 25, 2:00 PM – 5:00 PM, FREE
The Nomad Playhouse, 1410 Quince Avenue, Boulder, 80304
Join Spaceship Media & Colorado Public Radio on Feb 25 in Boulder to learn tools and tactics for bridging divides with the people you love.
Do you ever struggle to communicate about divisive issues with a friend or family member? Join us for an experience exploring how to bring people with whom you disagree back into your life. We invite you to come and spend an afternoon inspired by “The Wedge” podcast from Spaceship Media and Colorado Public Radio.
At the Feb. 25 event, Dr. Colwell will guide two loved ones who disagree about a divisive issue through a public discussion of their values and views. Then we’ll break into small groups with other practitioners from the Evolutionary Power Institute to discuss the obstacles we face when we try to talk about polarizing issues. Come ready to listen, learn, talk and think.
REGISTER
QUICKSTART TOOLS: For the life manual you wish you had
4 weeks, Thursdays 5-6:30 MT
March 2, 9, 16, 23
$75 (online)
REGISTER
Cocreative Couples Weekend Retreat
Friday night-Sunday afternoon, March 10-12
For couples who want to shift out of power struggle into a new type of relationship, one operating from co-creativity and genius expression.
A weekend immersion with other couples who are striving to add consciousness, play, and essence expression to their lives with each other. You’ll end up with clear, concrete tools that you can rely on over time to deepen your connection to yourselves, each other, and your lives.
(This weekend is open to all couples and fulfills the requirement to join the Co-Creative Couples Circle. Individuals are welcome to attend; you'll be paired with another individual for the "couples" practices.)
$795/couple ($695 before 2/27)